Fast Lane, Dead Stop.

Some surprising news was in the local papers of one Canadian city. A woman known for her physical beauty and her glamorous life in the fast lane was found dead at age 40. Many had heard of her “caviar and cocktail parties,” Caribbean cruises, and big business contracts. She had also gone through several highly publicized relationships with wealthy men, and finally succumbed to a drug overdose.

Some people reading this may wonder, “What is it like to live that way? What if she had avoided the drugs and the bad relationships? This was doubtless the tragic storybook ending for “one beautiful woman.”

However, what really caught my attention were the quotes from the woman’s mother—she said her daughter had been “a dove among vultures” and that the men around her had taken advantage of her “beauty and innocence.”

Beauty and the Lies

North American society has a distorted view of physical beauty and so-called “beautiful people.” There are several outright lies which we encounter on a daily basis.

First Lie: beauty is the same as childlike innocence and goodness; therefore a beautiful person deep down has a good, innocent heart. We tend to sympathize with beautiful people who have troubled lives. We would like to believe that they are really good people at heart and that they simply could not avoid being drawn into ambition, self-indulgence, decadence, and immorality.

In the story above, the deceased woman was described as naïve and innocent and that she only wanted to enjoy herself. She was truly “a victim of circumstances,” and others had led her astray.

From popular magazines to television, beauty and childlike innocence are closely associated. When Hollywood wants to promote a new child actor or an upcoming superstar entertainer, it usually presents the person as a wholesome, innocent girl or boy next door.

In the real world, however, everyone—young, old, male, female, rich, poor—has the propensity to be selfish, hurtful, abusive, and immoral. The Bible refers to this as sinful behavior, and calls us to be accountable for our choices and actions. Physical beauty and moral innocence are definitely not to be equated.

Second Lie: beautiful people have more fun and are to be admired and envied. Supposedly, a beautiful person has a better chance in achieving success, fame, and personal satisfaction. Thus, the popular saying, “Blonds have more fun,” really means, “Beautiful people have more fun,” and those who associate with these gorgeous people will also enjoy life more.

But what is physical beauty? Impossible and artificial standards are set up by movie stars and fashion models. Many people may think that their lives would be better off if they were to marry someone who looks like one of those models or movie stars on television.

In a candid interview, one famous model dropped a bombshell: pictures in magazine ads rarely tell the truth. Pointing to one of her pictures, she said bluntly, “Even I don’t look like that.”

This second lie can have a profound impact on marriages and relationships. Young people hope and dream that they would meet and marry someone who looks like their favorite screen idol. Middle aged married men fantasize about new relationships with beautiful young women.

Third Lie: physical beauty is a marketable item and should be sold to the highest bidder. This is the most destructive lie. If you have anything of value—beauty, brains, musical talent, physical prowess, a special ability—you are supposed to sell it for the going price.

Many people believe that the best thing that can happen to them is to be “discovered” by the media. They go to the extreme to get attention and applause, dreaming of one big moment that will change their lives.

Likewise, parents push their children to get a few minutes of limelight on television. The stuff of daytime talk shows says it plainly and crudely: young boys show their “attitude,” behaving like bad-mannered adults; six year-old girls wiggle their hips seductively, and teenagers obnoxiously fabricate stories about sexual adventures and family secrets.

One pastor put it this way: if our bottom-line is the sale of our looks and talents, then we have become prostitutes at heart.

The lies about beauty reveal a profound problem for many people: What makes us feel significant? Do we value ourselves merely according to what we can sell to others? How do we find personal worth?

A Different Story

In the book of Genesis, Joseph was sold into slavery by his older brothers. In his new surroundings, his good looks attracted his master’s wife. What should a young man do in the face of sexual temptation? Perhaps this was a real opportunity to feel valued and finally get out of slavery and gain something to further his reputation.

Joseph was “a dove amongst vultures.” His master’s wife tempted him to sin, but he stuck to his moral integrity and did not sin. He fulfilled God’s purpose for his life. He later became the highest government official in a foreign land, and saved a great number of people from famine. Here’s a story of one “beautiful person” whose life did not take the wrong turn and end tragically.

Beauty and The Truth

From the Bible, we learn several truths about beauty.

First Truth: being a beautiful person is related to our thoughts and emotions. Positive thoughts reflect a person who is happy and likeable. Negative thinking pushes others away from us. We need to guard our thoughts and emotions daily. We need to let go of unending complaints, anxiety, guilt, fears, anger, hatred, and distrust.

Here’s a technique that I recommend: imagine that you have recorded your habitual negative thoughts on a CD. Now put this CD aside. You do not need to listen to it constantly. It only makes you ornery. However, cultivate pleasant thoughts on a daily basis: “Whatever is true, right, pure, and lovely, let your mind dwell on them” (Phil. 4:8, paraphrase). This is good news: our thought life can be nurtured positively. We can stop being negative-minded, unhappy, and dissatisfied people.

Second Truth: beauty is in our character and personality. God’s presence in our lives brings love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Galatians 5:22, 23 refer to these as the fruit of the Holy Spirit, or qualities of an inner beauty of our character and personality.

Character and personality are revealed in speech, behavior, and relationships. We can all readily identify inappropriate behavior. How often have we seen high profile persons, from irresponsible politicians and their wives to celebrities, whose vulgar speech and behavior indicate a less than dignified character?

Third Truth, which is the most valuable: true beauty comes from our relationship with God. The Bible describes those who believe in Jesus as “the bride of Christ.” This is our identity in Christ, a permanent status given by God. We are chosen, loved, and treasured by the Lord. One can hardly imagine a bride to be undesirable or unattractive to the groom. As it goes in many marriages, the more one cultivates a relationship with his or her spouse, the more the person becomes more like his or her spouse. As Christians, as we cultivate our relationship with Christ, we become more like Him, Who is the ultimate standard for true, inner beauty. From this relationship, we can become people who will love and care about the people around us.

There is a huge difference between lasting inner beauty and “skin-deep,” temporary, physical beauty. Physical beauty, at best, lasts for fifty, sixty years. But inner beauty shows in our character, thoughts, speech, and behavior. It stems from our relationship with God: His love gives us significance, and our lives can be beautiful and attractive to others as we become more like Him, and there is no end to this beauty.

(David Y. Wu, Ph.D., is the Director of Library at China Bible Seminary in Hong Kong.)