The Black Shadow

About 13 years ago, I had the scariest experience of my life. It happened at my boyfriend’s parent’s house. I lay asleep in bed, with my boyfriend next to me. His dad had recently died, and I was spending the weekend with him and his family as they attended the funeral and grieved their loss. They were atheists, and something dreadful happened that night in their home which must have been from the dark side of the spiritual realm.

In the middle of the night, I woke up suddenly, and saw and felt a black shadow lying across my body pressing down, trying to enter. I was frightened out of my wits and had no idea what to do. My boyfriend looked at me and said, “It’s ok; let it in.” So I said, “Ok,” but I immediately knew it was evil.

The next moment I felt my boyfriend shaking me hard. His eyes were wide open in utter panic. He was shouting, “Stephanie, are you ok? Are you having a heart attack? What is happening to you?” I asked him if he had said “It’s ok; let it in,” and he said “no.” My heart was pounding so hard and my body vibrating so strong that he thought I was having a heart attack.

I didn’t know what to do, so I said, “You have to pray with me!” The only thing I could think to pray was “I love Jesus Christ.” We started praying that sentence over and over until I felt a little peace. The next day I went home, confused and scared, completely terrorized by the experience. I didn’t want to tell anyone what had happened, but my Catholic church upbringing told me that somehow I had encountered the devil!

Faith Falters

I had been raised as a good Catholic girl, with 12 years of Catholic schooling—a girl whom my friends would describe as petite and spunky with a love of life and animals. From a very early age, I developed a relationship with Jesus who was my friend and comforter. I remember talking to him when I was five and six-years old. I believed that he was with me and wanted to be a part of my life. I even prayed that Jesus would help me be like St. Francis, the patron saint of animals, because I loved animals so much.

Then starting around Middle School and through High School, I began to hear conflicting interpretations of theology. I found no consistency about what sin is and what things in the Bible were to be taken literally or figuratively. I also was taught that I could be possessed by the devil if I wasn’t good, and that I would go to hell if I died with certain sins on my soul. The only way to be forgiven for those sins was by a priest in confession.

As a result of being exposed to conflicting views, the sweet relationship I had with Jesus as a young child diminished and finally faded away. However the fear of dying and going to hell and being possessed by the devil increased to the point that I wouldn’t leave the house without a “scapula” around my neck. Wearing the scapula, a certain kind of necklace, was supposed to assure that I would go straight to heaven if I died and I wouldn’t be possessed by the devil. For at least two years I wore the scapula faithfully.

On a Spiritual High

By the time I graduated High School, I no longer trusted anything my church said to me. I took off my scapula and decided I would not live in fear anymore. The next seven years were spent going to college, partying and having boyfriends. By the time I was 24 years old I began to really miss the “spiritual” side of life. So I decided to go to California on what I called “a spiritual journey.” I was searching or spiritual fulfillment and wanted desperately to find God.

A friend in Costa Mesa invited me to her church—a huge non-denominational church. In one sermon the minister said, “If you have never invited Jesus into your heart and you have never asked Him to be your Savior, go home and do that tonight before you go to bed.” So, I did just that. I went home and before getting into bed, I said the prayer and asked Jesus to come into my heart. Then I went to sleep as normal. During the night, I woke up and saw a big bright light, white and gold, shining behind my crucifix on my wall. It went down the wall across the floor and up the foot of my bed through my feet all the way up to my head and filled me with this unbelievable feeling of love, peace, and joy. The only way I can describe it is that it felt like heaven. When I woke up the next morning, I was so excited! What an experience! My heart felt free to express itself to God, and my walk with Christ returned to what I remembered it being as a child. I felt His presence with me all the time.

A Dead End

Some years later I moved back to my home city to begin a business and had to leave that wonderful church. I began having a relationship with an atheist, thinking he would see my relationship with God and be drawn to Him by me. It was with this boyfriend that I experienced the scary black shadow encounter. I desperately wanted to find a church to help me, but though I went to countless churches trying to find one like the one in California, all of them seemed too extreme for me. I became discouraged and frustrated.

Because I am a spiritual person, I started exploring New Age, Shamanism, Buddhism Zen, tarot cards, psychics, crystals, sage, and meditations with other spiritual realms. I saw myself as once again being on my spiritual journey, and I was willing to try anything. But at this point, I began experiencing strange things. For example, I felt lights would twitch when I walked into rooms. I became unusually afraid of the dark. And I would often see images of evil and disgusting things. To try to understand what was happening to me, I sought out a psychic, and asked him, “What is my path to spiritual fulfillment?” He said that the stars show it is Christianity. That answer was the last thing I wanted to hear! I had tried that route, and it had gotten me nowhere.

I went on to marry a man who was an agnostic. For a while we had a good relationship, and because I was still searching spiritually, I tried to get my husband to pray with me and to look for a church we could attend. But he was anti-Christianity. He later left me and I began another partying phase in life, which eventually proved to be empty and a dead end.

Journey’s End

I realized I was faced with two choices, either end up like my friends who were drunks, sad and angry, and had only unhealthy relationships or I could turn my life over to God. I chose God.

Thankfully, a good friend introduced me to a Christian man who happened to be a powerful evangelist. He started discipling me and pointed me to the Bible for answers to life’s purpose. Through Bible studies I learned about spiritual warfare and that through Jesus I have authority and power over the enemy. I learned how to fight a spiritual battle. My life began to change. I experienced the power of God healing me emotionally. The terrible images I had at night started going away. I wasn’t afraid to get up at night in the dark! My fears left!

My whole life completely turned around. The Lord blessed me with a wonderful husband and a son who loves the Lord. He has given me ministries and shown me many ways I can serve Him. He has sent me mentors, and I have continued to learn about Him through his living Word. And, I have found many great churches and Christian friends to fellowship with. My life is forever surrendered to Him, and my spiritual journey is my walk with my Lord, Jesus Christ

A professional equestrian and a real estate investor, Stephanie Raffety-Wilson lives in Allen, TX with her husband and their 10-yearold son. She opens her house regularly for home meetings, women’s prayer group and is a powerful witness in the marketplace.