From the mouth of my friend’s seven-year-old daughter came this precious prayer before a meal, “God, thank you for this food. Thank you that you love us, and that we are all your favorites. Amen.” Later during the meal, she chuckled to herself. “Guess what?” she said. “You know how I prayed saying that we are all God’s favorites? Well, it’s not really true, because I’m his favorite!” She laughed with delight.

The dream of being someone’s favorite—being more special than others—can follow us into adulthood as well. Deep in our hearts we want to be recognized and favored more by our boss at work, by our friends, by co-workers at church, and even by God Himself.

An interesting bumper sticker reads, “God loves you, but I am His favorite.” But how can I dare to think that I am God’s favorite? Isn’t it arrogant to think that God would prefer me above all others? Aren’t we all special to God? If this is true and I think of myself as God’s favorite, then I must think that everyone else is God’s favorite too, which puts everyone on an equal plain. But this thinking somehow seems to ruin the whole idea of being God’s “favorite.”

The dilemma comes about because we are trying to explain another-world concept with the words of our limited, finite English language. I run into this problem when I try to describe a certain tropical fruit to people who have never seen this fruit. This fruit has never come across their path, so it is “other worldly” to them. For example, the national fruit of Jamaica is the ackee, and it is combined with salted cod fish to make the Jamaican national dish “Ackee and Salt Fish.” When friends ask me what the ackee s like, I try to equate it with something in their world, something with which they are familiar. So, I might say that when it is cooked, it is similar to the color of scrambled eggs and it comes out of a pod that, when open, is shaped somewhat like a hand. It also has large black seeds—one seed per piece of fruit.

I know, however, that this description does not really do justice to what the ackee looks like, or more importantly its special taste. I could tell my friends that it is blighia sapida which is the Latin name for it, but that does not help them understand either. My friends will just have to encounter the Jamaican world and see it and taste ackee for themselves to really “get it”!

How much more so is this true when trying to explain the kind of love and attention God gives each one of us. The nature of God’s love is a heavenly concept, and no matter how well we have been loved by those in this world, even if we have been made the favorite, it still is only a blip on the surface in comparison to the extent of the love that God has for each one of us.

How is it possible that my specialness and uniqueness in God’s heart can co-exist with the specialness and uniqueness of all others? The idea that others’ “favorite-ness” impacts and somehow reduces my own rests in zero-sum thinking. With zero-sum thinking, resources are finite, and if one person gains, the other person loses. With zero-sum thinking we cannot all win at the same time. But God does not operate with zero-sum thinking. The kingdom of God does not rest its principles on a finite king, but on an infinite abundance of love, grace, and generosity of a King who has already cancelled all debts and pre-paid all losses. This King unreservedly offers His program to anyone who would like to join.

The relationship of Heavenly Father to Jesus Christ as He walked here on earth was one of a close and special relationship. One would be hard-pressed to believe anything other than that Jesus was the favorite of the Father. At one time God spoke over Jesus, “This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased” (Matthew 3:17). And Jesus, praying to the Father, asked that the world would know that “you sent me, and have loved them (the disciples), even as you have loved me.” When I picture the amazing love God the Father had for Jesus, and then try to think that God loves me in the same way, it is beyond my comprehension. Jesus’ sacrifice transfers that same love to me. If I accept His sacrifice, I am His beloved! Others who embrace His sacrifice become His beloved too. We are all “special” and “favorite” because of the amazing generosity of God.

If I refuse to accept that I am special, loved, and favored by the Father, just as Jesus was, then I am minimizing the sacrifice Jesus made for me. If in my human attempts to be fair to everyone, I do not accept that I am God’s favorite and others are His favorites too, then I am engaging in zero-sum thinking again. We must abandon zero-sum thinking! If the Lord intently focuses His love on me, that in no way limits Him from intently focusing His love on the billions of other people around the world. God is outside of what I can wrap my mind around. He truly loves me, and at the same time He also truly loves everyone.

My use of the word “favorite” does not carry the idea of exclusiveness of His love, but rather it helps me understand the depth of His love towards ME. If using this word helps me grasp His love more clearly, then it is to my benefit to use it. I owe it to the Lord, due to the severity of His sacrifice, to try to grasp more fully the extent of His love that caused Him to willingly die for ME. If I can begin to grasp the extent of His love for ME, if I can grasp something as simple as I am the “apple of His eye,” then I am further along the road to honoring His blood sacrifice for me, and embracing the truth of His love in my heart. If I can receive the Lord’s affirmations of His love, I am closer to being transformed in my mind and heart to the place that He wants me to be.

So then, where does that leave me? I think I should focus on the fact that the Lord loves ME incredibly more than I can imagine. And in acceptance of Jesus’ shed blood sacrifice, I should allow my heart to be melted and immersed in His love. I should also communicate to those around me this same truth. God loves each one of us, more than we have ever begun to grasp. Let us focus on opening ourselves more fully to the drenching of His love. Let us approach Him in faith, asking for the untouchable, other-world reality of His love, so that it overwhelms our heart and soul. Then we can live life from the outflow of a loved heart and know the joy of really living. We are all God’s favorites!

Wendy-Kaye Russell holds a Masters of Science in Marriage and Family Therapy. She and her husband Andrew are Jamaican nationals who live in the Dallas, Texas area.