In the summer of 1983, my hometown in the Hubei province of China was flooded by the Yangtze River. After almost drowning in the much polluted flood waters and being resuscitated by my father, I fell ill with a lingering diarrhea. Later, I was diagnosed with chronic hepatitis B, a dreadful disease caused by the hepatitis B virus attacking the liver. In acute hepatitis B cases, an infected person quickly recovers and develops immunity. But in my case, the illness lingered beyond six months, and my immune system could no longer defend against the virus. I had all the common symptoms, including fatigue, weight loss, loss of appetite, yellow skin, and liver malfunction, which meant my liver was constantly being damaged.

Chronic hepatitis B was not uncommon in my hometown in those years. Knowledge of its three developmental stages circulated widely: chronic hepatitis B, cirrhosis, and liver cancer. As a child, I heard several sad stories of lives lost to hepatitis B. In fact, one of my uncles, my father’s only sister’s husband, died at age 30+ due to liver cancer caused by chronic hepatitis B. I still remember the heartbreaking cries of my aunt and three young cousins at my uncle’s funeral. Consequently, the shadow of “middle-aged liver cancer” was constantly in the back of my mind.

The Book of Fortune

In the summer of 1984, a year after the flood, two fortune tellers from the Jiangxi province visited my village. Concerned about my state of health, my parents paid them a good amount of money in hopes of knowing my future. The fortune tellers took information about the exact time of my birth and left. Several months later, they returned with a book for me called “Liu Nian” which means in English “passing years.” It was basically a year-by-year prediction of my future life. Each year covered two pages, divided into 12 small boxes, one for each month in the year. Each day of the month had a brief prediction for the day, with such words or short phrases as danger, bloody, happy, and fortunate.

Somehow, such “Liu Nian” books were quite accurate in their predictions. One of my neighbors paid for the same kind of book for his young adult son. One day, his son went out to do farming and was killed when his agricultural vehicle overturned. After the accident, the father opened his son’s “Liu Nian” book and found the word for that day was “foot long fish in inch-deep water,” a figure of speech commonly used for a dangerous state that requires being absolutely still from activities in order to survive. My neighbor deeply regretted that he had not consulted the book earlier in order to protect his son from the accident. Learning from this, my parents were very vigilant to consult the book in advance and take action before any of my “dangerous” days. For example, once, the “Liu Nian” stated a certain day as bloody, so my parents spread eel’s blood on my face, thinking to manipulate its fulfillment. They ordered me not to go out of the house but to stay on a large bamboo bed. Somehow, a loose stick of bamboo from the bed scratched one of my legs and my skin bled. Experiences like this caused my family to believe that a person’s fate was predetermined, but through knowledge of it, one could manipulate its realization in terms of how it would exactly play out.

Due to the astonishing accuracy of its predictions about my life, the “Liu Nian” was the only book that I brought with me when I left my hometown for university study in Beijing. From time to time, I would read it to learn what was going to happen. Especially on the days which were marked as unfortunate or dangerous, I would make a conscious effort to avoid misfortune. The book was helpful to me in this aspect, but its accuracy and a prediction concerning the year 2020 (when I would turn 42) constantly frightened me. Although I couldn’t figure out what exactly would happen by the rather vague predictions for that year, it was obvious the year would be life threatening, or almost certainly that I wouldn’t survive it—there were strange figures of “horses” being upside down and many other bad predictions. Because of having hepatitis B virus in my body, I believed the predictions meant that liver cancer would end my life that year.

Living the Nightmare of Fear

At the university, I did reasonably well, but my hope of a romantic relationship for marriage was destroyed. My relationship with a girl ended shortly after her father scolded her, “Do you want to become a widow at age 30?” It was so painful to feel rejected due to the hepatitis B virus in my body.

Not being able to get over the fear of “middle-aged death,” I sought counseling services offered by the university’s mental health support office. A long conversation with a psychologist, unfortunately, did not help deliver me from the fear. I still felt no hope of living beyond age 42. I started to self-study western philosophies, trying to find out why I was in this world and what meaning life had. Philosophers, however, didn’t provide a satisfying answer to these questions. Later, I realized that philosophers were often the most depressed of people, with some of them becoming insane or killing themselves in their search for answers to the same questions I had. The traditional Chinese philosophers I studied were far less concerned about these questions. They cared more about how to live this life, which didn’t appear to be relevant to my inner struggle and fear. I didn’t want to die at 42, but I believed that was my fate because of my hepatitis B condition and the accurate “Liu Nian” book.

At the end of my undergraduate study, I started to feel abnormally tired. A blood test showed that the hepatitis B virus had become active again. During 40 days of hospitalization, my big brother came to Beijing to look after me in my illness, for which I am still very grateful. After medical treatments, the liver function became normal again, and I was discharged from the hospital. Since there is no cure for chronic hepatitis B and it was still active in my liver, a doctor advised me to begin using anti-hepatitis B drugs. I tried everything available on the market, but none was effective in suppressing the virus. One drug, which I endured for half a year, caused severe side effects, including insomnia, hair loss, extreme fatigue, appetite loss, and weight loss. It was a nightmare! I couldn’t sleep well and often cried quietly to myself in a dormitory shared with several roommates, finding my pillow soaked with tears the next morning. “Why is this my fate?” I asked in desperation, but nobody could give me an answer. Fortunately, after struggling for a year, I became “clinically cured,” which meant the virus was no longer active in my body although still present in the liver.

Providence or What?

As I considered future job opportunities, I knew that after health screening, hepatitis B carriers were often rejected by employers. Some graduating classmates would get someone else to take a blood sample on their behalf, but I didn’t want to do that. Because of this discrimination, I decided to go overseas to a more developed country that had better protection for the employment rights of hepatitis B carriers.

After tough months of studying for the GRE and TOFEL exams, I got a scholarship offer from Singapore for its dual master’s program between the National University of Singapore (NUS) and Georgia Institute of Technology (Georgia Tech) in the U.S. I flew to Singapore in July 2002 and started my first semester at NUS. Immediately, I was drawn to a Chinese Bible study group on campus due to my interest in philosophies. I had absolutely no interest in becoming religious but thought it was necessary to learn about foreign cultures and belief systems. As the semester progressed, I continued to attend the Bible study, eventually becoming the only non-Christian left in the weekly Bible study meetings. At the end of the semester, the group leader connected me with another Chinese Christian fellowship group at Georgia Tech, where I would be going soon. So, after landing in the U.S., I continued weekly Bible studies on campus. I had lots of debates with the new Bible study leader, and I often challenged the teachings in the Bible. The Bible study leader and other Christians were very kind to listen to me and never made me feel awkward for my different opinions. Therefore, I continued to attend the weekly Bible study meetings until I left the U.S. to return to Singapore.

Immediately after returning to the NUS campus, I bumped into an older friend who had been in the same Bible study group I was in a year earlier. He had become a Christian and seemed quite different from the person he used to be—very joyful and enthusiastic about sharing his newly-found faith in Jesus Christ. Though his enthusiasm felt socially awkward, I secretly longed for the kind of joy he displayed in his life. At that time, I was still a very heavy-hearted person and seldom had joy in daily living.

For about three months, I followed this brother to another Bible study group and attended Sunday worship services in his church. After more debates on Christian faith, I thought it was time to make a decision. I already knew enough about Christianity. Since nobody could prove God to me, I decided I shouldn’t believe in the Bible and in Christianity, although they had many moral and emotional benefits for life. I should only believe in what could be proven truthful. Therefore, I decided to say “no” and “goodbye” to Christianity. I wrote an email to all my Christian friends to thank them for their friendship and told them that I would stop Bible study and church activities because nobody could prove God is true. The email was sent out on the 12th August, 2003. On the 24th August, 2003, however, I had a totally unexpected personal encounter with God alone in my bedroom before the dawn. I had to acknowledge God’s existence and submit my life to him. For a detailed account of my conversion, please refer to my other story entitled “A Glimpse of Hell” at http://ccmusa.org/read/read.aspx?id=chg20140104.

Once I became a Christian, I found that the “Liu Nian” book suddenly lost accuracy in its predications. Still consulting the book every few weeks, I shared my puzzled heart with my pastor. He told me to throw the book away, pointing out that God forbids fortunetelling in the scriptures and consulting them is believing in Satan, who is behind them. The “Liu Nian” book can be accurate in predictions because Satan, who is evil, can control our lives and will ultimately lead us to destruction. My pastor told me that because I had received salvation through Jesus Christ, my life was now in God’s hands, no longer in Satan’s hands—the default place of every person due to original sin. I rejoiced to learn that my name was now in God’s Book of Life! So I threw away the “Liu Nian” book as rubbish and felt greatly relieved.

As a new believer, I had an immense hunger for the Bible. I started the habit of reading the Bible and praying every morning. The Lord was close to me, often giving me directions and wisdom that I needed for the day ahead. But deep in my heart, I still feared about my future because of the “middle-aged death” complex that had developed over the years. I prayed earnestly for God’s healing to clear the hepatitis B virus from my liver. I attended healing services offered by some famous preachers/pastors. I was often the first one to respond to the altar call for divine healing. But my blood tests again and again showed no change—I was still a hepatitis B carrier. However, God completely removed my fear before removing the virus from my body. One day in my devotional time, I read: “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation” (Psalm 91:14–16).

It was as if these three verses jumped out of the Bible and spoke to me, becoming God’s personal promise to me. On that day, I determined to love the Lord wholeheartedly so that I could claim this precious, personal promise of long life. Since then, the fear that troubled me for many years was completely dismissed. No amount of so-called positive thinking—which I had tried hard in the past—was able to give me relief from the fear. Counseling by an experienced psychologist had not changed my negative mentality. But the power of the holy scripture in the Bible and the Holy Spirit completely set me free when I put my trust in the Almighty Lord.

He Makes Everything New

In July 2005, I came to know a godly and beautiful girl who later became my wife. I fell in love with her, but I was so afraid that after learning I was a hepatitis B carrier, she would reject me. As we saw each other more and more often, I struggled desperately within myself. “How can I be less honest after becoming a Christian?” I asked myself. So, I decided before continuing the relationship to tell her my hidden health issue. After a long telephone conversation, I shut myself in my bedroom and knelt before the Lord in prayer. I opened my Bible and read the verses from my devotional that morning: “At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said: ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised’” (Job 1:20-21).

I just couldn’t hold back my tears, “Yes, Lord. I surrender to you whatever the outcome will be.” In my heart, I accepted the possible outcome that I would remain single for life because of the health problem.

Thankfully, this young lady whom I loved was a woman of faith and prayer. The Lord gave her peace to start a relationship with me. Before we got married, she got a hepatitis B vaccine, and today, we have four healthy boys. As the Lord said to the apostle Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). Praise be to the Lord Jesus, who lives forever and whose power has no limit.

In 2013, I did a blood test in Singapore as part of the New Zealand immigration requirements. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the test report—the hepatitis B virus was clear from my body and I had antibodies! I shared the unbelievable report with my big brother who is a medical doctor. He asked me to repeat the same blood test after a month. The result was the same, and the antibodies had become even stronger! My brother said this was a miracle, as the chance of such a change is very low. Part of the credit goes to my wife for her emphasis on healthy lifestyle choices for our family, but it’s ultimately God’s healing in response to our prayers. The Lord was never too late to deliver me from the virus, although I waited for 30 years!

In this 2021 Easter weekend, I am writing this testimony to give praise to my Lord Jesus Christ. I passed the “intimidating year of age 42” last year. I declare that He is the Lord of my life and my future is secure in Him. Jesus is alive! He is more than a good teacher or a prophet. He is the son of the living God, who died on the cross for the atonement of my sins. He rose from the dead and now sits at the right hand of the Father interceding for me. His deliverance didn’t come as quickly as I wished, but He was not too late to accomplish His purposes for my life. In fact, He used both trials and waiting to prepare my heart to be ready for knowing Him. He brings forth goodness out of our sufferings according to Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Once I asked the Lord in a prayer: “Lord, where were you when I was undergoing tremendous suffering?” The image of Jesus hanging on the cross immediately came into my mind. I became speechless and didn’t need any more answer. The crucifixion of Jesus transcends time and space—it was for me and relevant to my sufferings. We live in a fallen world where pain and suffering is inevitable, and Jesus can empathize with us because He suffered more than all our suffering. Chronic hepatitis B was an awful life experience, but God used it for good in my life. The difficult years made me think more lightly of the fleeting pleasures of the flesh and ambitions in this temporary world. The pain drove me to seek for truth and for what really matters in eternity. I found that Jesus is “the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6), and I now have the greatest blessing one can ever have—knowing the Lord, the creator of the universe, the giver of life, and having a personal relationship with Him through His Son Jesus Christ.

May you experience His comfort when you read this testimony. May you hold fast to Him and keep your hope in His unfailing love because: “He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

Dr. Abraham Zhang is married to Kaili Chen Zhang. They are both university lecturers in the UK. They are blessed to have four boys—Joseph, Daniel, Jordan and Enoch.