A Sweet Relationship Began

I entered Elim Bible Institute (EBI) in 1974 as a very shy and lonely freshman. I had been raised by my father, along with four other siblings. My biological mother was never around in my life. Fortunately, through a neighbor who believed all the kids in the neighborhood should go to Sunday school, I learned about Jesus and gave my heart to Him at age 15.

When I entered Elim in 1974, Ruth Rodriguez (“Mom”) became my advisor. She was one of the kindest individuals I had ever met, and the hurting little girl inside me was drawn to her. Over the next three years at Elim, we got to know each other and a precious relationship grew. That relationship eventually turned into a mother-daughter relationship that lasted for many years. She could not have been a better mom if she had given birth to me. She was a gift from our Heavenly Father, and I am who I am today because of her life and unconditional love.

Roller Coaster Ride

I never could understand anyone’s fascination with roller coasters! You wait in line for what seems to be hours. Once seated, a bar will come down over you, and you realize there is no turning back. The ascent begins slowly as you anticipate—either with excitement or fear—that first drop. The first incline is not the only one you will experience. There are more inclines with just as many dips—long with some curves thrown in to make it more “interesting.” Depending on the type of roller coaster, some of these curves take you upside down, making you wonder if you will remain in the seat, or fall to your demise on the ground hundreds of feet below. Although the ride may last no more than 90 seconds, it seems like forever. When it stops, you are left breathless.

I recall only one time when Mom rode a real roller coaster. It was at the insistence of her niece and nephew who wanted their Aunt Ruth to enjoy something they enjoyed. Mom found herself seated next to her younger brother, a bar coming down over her whole body, and wondering, “What in the world am I doing?” All she could do as the ride began was to scream “Help me! Help me!” Later, her brother winsomely asked who she expected to come help!

In April 2003, I found myself waiting in line for another type of roller coaster ride that I really didn’t want to experience. But once I got in the seat, there was no turning back. My hope was that there was an end in sight, and all would be well.

This last ride I took with Mom was similar to that first roller coaster ride. We rode it together, not for 90 seconds, but for five months. During those five months, there were many ups and downs and curves that left us hanging on to each other for support. One day we would be told something that gave us hope. The next day I would find myself asking the question, “What are we doing here?” as I wondered if we would survive this ride to the end.

Mom’s first symptoms had been aches and pains, feeling tired, and back pain that got increasingly worse. Tests showed that she had pancreatic cancer—a cancer that is not easily diagnosed until it is too late to be treated and cured. Not wanting her to be alone at night, I slept on her couch for over four months, caring for her. I worked during the day but came back at night. In the last seven weeks of her life, a nurse came in the morning, and staff at Elim volunteered to stay with her during the afternoon.

Throughout the five months that Mom suffered, she never wavered in her trust in the One who was the Master Controller for this ride. She remained steady, trusting in the One who was in charge—the One to whom she had given her life completely. The night she passed, I found it hard to let her go. I was the one hanging on to her for dear life, wishing the ride would stop and we both could walk away into the sunset. But this I knew: God is Sovereign, and He has established the length of our days—and I trusted Him.

When Mom’s ride stopped on September 26, 2003, at approximately 3:15 a.m., she walked away into the arms of Jesus. I had to get off the ride by myself and walk into what I thought was total darkness.

After Total Darkness

Mom taught me much of God’s grace during her illness. I am grateful I got to accompany her through her last roller coaster ride to the end. But, in my mind, a roller coaster is still running. There are ups and downs and curves thrown in for me to respond to. I no longer have Mom to hang on to, so I’m learning to put my trust totally in the Master Controller. Other people are on the ride with me, surrounding me with love and doing what they can to help me get through this process of grief. I am mourning, but not as those who have no hope, for the Lord is my comfort.

Will there be another roller coaster ride for me? I don’t know the answer to that question, but I want to be ready should the Lord ask that of me. I believe that how I respond to this loss in my life will determine how I weather the next ride. As I have tasted the bitterness of sorrow, I desire to have the sweetness of the Lord in my spirit. Mom’s life exuded the sweetness of the Lord. My desire is that I can follow the example she gave me and live my life for Christ as she lived her life.

In my worship, I surrender my life to God. I give Him my fears concerning my future and depend completely on Him. I wait for His comfort. In Him, I rest.

Ruth Rodriguez imparted her love for Christ and the world to her students during the 36 years she served at EBI. Many of those students are in distant countries today using what she taught them to reach the nations. The words “The World Was in Her Heart” are inscribed on a bronze plaque at the base of the Memorial Globe dedicated to her honor at the 2004 Missions Conference on the campus of Elim. The Globe is a challenge to the students at Elim to worship the God that Ruth loved and served—and to share His love with the world.

Mary Novinger is a 1977 graduate of Elim Bible Institute and College, currently serving at the college as the human resources(HR) manager.